First, I am so sorry she made those statements for whatever the reason. Also, she could have been honest and told him what happened at the bachelor party, but instead she kept it a secret. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Then one girl left and all of a sudden the other girl is giving pointers! I thanked him. She and her group of mean girls clearly cant accept that. NOBODY SHOULD TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE. A couple of laffs? How much more reassurance do you need? The two judgmental homophobic friends have got to go. Only one thing to do in this situation. I can't stress enough how important it was that you didn't let this fester and at the same time you removed yourself from the situation to give yourself time to sort out your feelings. One of the things they dont tell you about relationships is that you gotta be able to stand up for your SO when the time comesso even if OPs wife doesnt actually believe all that and bent to peer pressure, that really sucks and Im sorry she feels that way with her friends, but she shouldnt be surprised if she loses her husband. I'm not sure how your marriage survives without professional help. She was pretty happy discussing extremely intimate shit off the cuff in a group. Your wife probably didn't want to admit in front of her friends that she likes that you're into butt stuff and initiates most of the time. Maybe you could come around trusting her, but i wouldn't trust her friends. Viktor Frankl Your wife doesn't have your back. HER?! She shouldn't be hiding things from you or telling people your personal stuff. Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions and really process them before jumping into heavy discussion with her. Would she have ever stood up for you and put her friends in place? And her dissing your sexual needs to her friends and I truly understand that it was very hurtful and disrespectful to you and your marriage. All you heard was a snippet of the conversation that you could loud and clear despite being in another room. No matter how much she tells you she really enjoys it, there will now always be that voice in your head that tells you she really doesn't. I think it's too late for couples counseling. Itd be a dealbreaker for me. I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. Even if it was a close call, you dont say that. At a minimum she should have come clean about the bachelorette party thing the moment it happened. Take care of yourself, you have the right to take more time if you need it. Yeah, all of those things are a painful betrayal. When you have a PARTNER that partner should be in your corner 100% of the time. They give up so quickly when there's a whole lifetime ahead of joy, wonder and happiness. Id almost go with divorce but with the kids, I sincerely hope counseling is able to help. My 2 cents is not worth much, but why did she not feel the need to tell you when she realized she let it slip from the drunken night? The moment your sexuality became some kind of giggle fodder was when it really crossed the line. Anyone that believes stay for the kids has literally never had any experience as a kid whos parents stayed for them. Neither is divorce. It just seems like shes ashamed of it an projecting. Maybe you should ask him if that not problem why he upset. She was shitfaced when she admitted your sexuality, was pressured to mock your sexuality by her terrible friends, and she didn't actually mean to completely fucking demean you sexually. Wife: babe were you in the kit. I cut her off. Hopefully, she falls into a better crowd that is modern and accepting. Now this doesnt mean shes a 100% shit person. Has anyone gone through anything similar? Author Hazel McBride claimed that she's so "average-looking" that she feels uneasy around her more handsome husband in a now-viral TikTok. Remind her of this without judging. As long as you are honest with yourself then it will all work out. Same. Let that sink in. he was more "passionate" etc. If you are honest, people may cheat you. We have an exciting and active sex life. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. I know that your * secret life * is very personal to you, but not many people will be concerned or even bothered about your sexuality. There's a lot that isn't adding up about her explanation to you. Personally I think you handled as well as could be expected - what with confronting the issue right away and pulling consequences for her violating your very personal boundary/secret. I could only imagine how crap you feel right now. If so, I think you should try. She maybe deserves the benefit of the doubt. By bringing it up then and making your feelings the most important feelings in the room, you are being childish. The thing that's most revolting is that she'd hang you out to dry just to agree with her mates. I would 100% be considering divorce over this, if in OPs shoes. Try marriage counseling and perhaps moving away for a new start. Stand firm in that it wasn't okay to disclose private information that you didn't want to be made public. Solve thid situation by TALKING let her explain herself and then tell her what you feel. Your wife have no sense of conjugality. Of course she's only sorry she got caught but think about it, how many times they've been making fun of you from their girls night outs? Then the friend asked my wife if she had ever been tempted to cheat on me with (insert ex-boyfriend's name), to which my wife replied saying hell no, that she would never risk our marraige like that. Decide what you need to keep the relation ship going. I'm not sure what her motivation was with not being up front with you about all of this, especially the telling her friends of your sexuality. Wow dude. Good luck mate I hope you're able to get through this with no drama. When we had problems of a sexual nature it made me feel worse that her friends who would constantly gossip amongst each other knew. I dunno, this feels like a day time drama and not a real story! If thats true then she needs to work on her confidence to be herself around her friends and nit be pressured to say things to sound cool. If it was truly a complete accident, she wouldn't continue joking about it with them. That is something you tell your partner immediately after it happens (same with exposing your sexuality to her friends). I agree though it does sound like she started the mocking of his sexuality. Shes the one the initiates that kind of sex (pegging, butt play, d/s stuff.none of which is exclusive to bi men btw) most the time! I totally dont get why she would lie and say he begged for the gay stuff if she was wanting it. If you can't trust someone with your sexuality - you aren't going to trust them with anything else that matters to you, there will always be something keeping you from sharing your full self with them. I (45M) have been married to my wife (45F) for 20 years. Picking that moment to be the center of attention? You think youre slick enough to hide the resentment and anger but youre not. Those so called friends are not real friends. She swears she does love our sex life and the things we do and is sorry. Watch your back op!! Do you believe what she told you? Your story is isn't as violent, but its just as embarrassing and horrifying to hear. Don't make any decisions until you have calmed down. Once your sexual history was out in the open and left you vulnerable to her girlfriends judgements, she decided to join in and talk shit about it and mention that she thinks of other men while pleasuring you since it turns her off. She immediately started apologizing and saying she loves me and it was drunk girl talk and she didnt mean anything. Even individual counseling as well, to help you understand your own feelings and what you want to do in this relationship. The real question on my mind is why is she friends with people who belittle you for your sexuality? I do not get why some people think it is okay to shit talk or make fun of their significant other to their friends, and act two faced when their significant other is in the room. But I also feel like it's a betrayal you can come back from. Not to mention she outed him and didn't even come clean and let him know, instead allowed the jokes to flow for a couple years - that's pretty unforgivable. Between stimulus and response, there is a space. Why does she feel the need to show off to her friends in a way that makes them think less of you? You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. It's healthy and necessary. After a very long silence, she said, "I guess we'll see how it all comes out in the wash anyway." They went to bed soon after. There were many times where we wanted to throw in the towel. 2. She needs to understand that at least. At the very least there's some trust work that will need to be done to rebuild some things. I bet you can still hold your head high with them. She just let it slip. No matter how many close and loving moments you have with your wife from this point forward, in the back of your mind youre gonna remember how easily someone -who you thought you were on the same team with- can piss all over that idea in exchange for making a few girls go no way?! Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111 Now you know you have to be careful near her, from now on dont expose yourself that much. This is not helpful but wow. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. Im a masculine male with a bit of a cocky arrogance to me and I feel like all my confidence is gone. I dont know what to do. You need to accept yourself for who you are. I would keep notes about what's promised and then see what she manages to do about it going forward (should you decide to stay with her). Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. Then, when I was in the bathroom (just outside of their bedroom door), I could hear them talking about me. Being shitty is easy, being a good person is too Clearly choices have been made. Relationship therapy, lots of work, regaining trust. You took that better than I would have. I have no advice but as a fellow bi, my condolences. I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. I believe you'll deal with this and adapt. But you have every right to be angry. If it were me, I would let her know that she needs to consider how this would be handled if the roles were reversed. They seem like they knew exactly what she was talking about, like it was a familiar topic. Shes hurt you, she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you, has no doubts, and enjoys it herself. Nothing really, it's all been said, nothing can change it. Ha fucking ha. Good move tossing them out and then leaving as well. Just talk. Ive been with my partner for 5 years. How many people knew about it since she let it slip, considering she's telling the truth and it was only two years ago that she told somebody. This isn't your fault. Her to like the same shit you go?? Not only that, but she didn't admit to him that she had done it when she sobered up. Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. Couples counseling could help. I'm just saying people can be stupid. First of all, I don't trust your wife. Couples counseling could work but it may also not be necessary, you two could work on it together. Very few people know so I was instantly fucking pissed because if they knew, its cause my wife told them. That that is a topic of conversation is absurd. Wasnt even going to bring it up to her or get upset she didnt tell me. So no being friends with intolerant halfwits, and no more alcohol. Do not make them feel you're different because you're not! Standard Group Plc HQ Office, The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road. Her to never talk to her friends?? Id also like to see those fun-o-phobes pack their bags and get out of your wifes life. Partners that demand that have no respect for you. Exposing your sexuality and your sex life to her friends is a massive betrayal, but it has been covered by other quality comments. I will say at least you dumped the shit on the table straight away and didn't try to eat it by yourself. Bisexuality is valid. Dont slide back to her. You definitely have every right to be upset and angry, but I honestly feel like she is telling you the truth, and they were just unfortunately things you werent supposed to hear. 2.) Your wife's unfortunate refusal to do the same speaks to her character too. Lol, yup its amazing how scared people are to just be themselves. She is trying to write this shit off as a mistake. Second communicate. I mean, what you probably should have done was just walk quietly back to the garage and talk about it in private with your wife later- like an adult. Throwaway cause I know one of her friends is an avid reddit user and knows my main account. I am honestly at a loss. 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Posted indetective jermaine rogers wife
i overheard my wife talking about me
